You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
