I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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