so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
pop tarts are not kleenex
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
