If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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