So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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