Small penises have feelings too.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Randomize
