I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Randomize
