yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
