No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
my being single is dangerous.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
