i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
