When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
