I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
