your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
