Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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