we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
