just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
