god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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