I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Randomize
