I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
If that was your dad, he is hot
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize