I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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