Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize