i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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