this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
vagina is talking i cant
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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