I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
