Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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