I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
