I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
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