I puked a lego.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
