shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
