we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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