so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize