Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
