No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We left the knife in your bed.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize