Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
