I feel great
I just peed on a car
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
