So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
