enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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