i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
