She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
ok first of all what the fuck
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
