i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
