I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm too high and old for this...
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
