Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
