you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
