You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
