Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
