No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Farmville is her only friend.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Randomize
