you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize