God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
