I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
