And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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