BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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