never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
