It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
