part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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