So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
