I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
