I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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