I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
