is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
