Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
