Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize