On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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