i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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