i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
