1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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