need another drink. this is the easiest way
I skipped work to stalk him.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
