How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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