And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
